Contrariness on chemo

Being on chemo is a bit like having PMT in lots of ways. No wonder, as they both mess with your hormones. One of the worst things about this is feeling the opposite of how you (and others) think you should feel. I feel gung-ho about things that would turn others into shivering wrecks – after all, there isn’t much that is worse than cancer, so I don’t sweat the small stuff. But I also find myself an emotional wreck on days when others might imagine I’d be all smiles. Today is a great example. I’m scheduled to have my last chemo tomorrow so I should be happy as anything. But instead I feel teary and sad. The smallest thing is upsetting. I’m upset because I feel upset. And if that’s not contrary, you tell me what is?

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