Deja vu

Genghis is back. I think. I’ve got another tumour. It’s just by where the first one was and it’s another fast growing one so chances are it’s a local recurrence. The chemo didn’t work.

So now I’m back where I was six months ago. Scans to make sure it hasn’t spread. I hope. Waiting for the pathology report. The double mastectomy has been brought forward and will happen ASAP in the new year. Then more chemo.

The worst bit was the look on the faces of the surgeon and the oncologist. Both were shocked. The surgeon is “concerned” (not very good to hear).

And now the fear that it’s spread.

I’m not doing all that well. I feel in shock. I am on autopilot. I can’t cope with people saying nice things. I don’t really want to talk to anyone. I just want to lie in a dark room in silence.

This is horrid.

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4 thoughts on “Deja vu

  1. Oh Rosie, I just couldn’t read this and not leave a message, even though any combination of words sound inadequate. Keep fighting this thing. It is just not fair. Sending you every good wish and lots of love. Clare x x

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  2. Rosie – I’m a lawyer and a mum and came across your blog through the Wonderful Working Mums group. You’re doing something amazing just writing about all of this. I – and all your other readers, friends, etc – have got everything crossed for you. If there’s anything I can do please just say. Zoe x

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    • Like Clare, words just seem so inadequate but I still had to say something – if only that I truly believe in miracles and certainly in the brilliance of modern medicine and am absolutely rooting for you, Rosie.

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