Moving on

It’s been a while since I wrote anything here. If the truth be told I’ve been shattered, mentally, and have done all I can to keep the train on the tracks. Establishing the charity has been an entirely all-consuming task. As a group we have expended masses of positive energy in making Secondary1st a reality. Getting to the launch required a massive burst of energy but it was absolutely worth it. We now have groups of people doing their own thing to raise money: cake bakes, marathons, cycle rides, reflexology sessions, auctions of all sorts. If you have a fundraising idea then please get in touch at info@secondary1st.org.uk

But now that the charity is up and running it’s time to turn my attention back to myself, for a brief period. It’s not something I’m very good at doing. I’ve been criticised recently for neglecting myself, it’s just that I can’t help it. In years gone by Rosie used to think and care about me so that I didn’t have to. “Elliot, I think it’s time to get some new clothes” or “Elliot, do you fancy going away to x this year”, she would say. Over the past year my focus has been on caring for the children, and of course that will never change. The way that they continue to grow and blossom, despite the loss of the most important figure in their lives, is awe-inspiring. They both ooze their mum’s personality. They make me so very proud.

With the benefit of time I am now starting to reassess what my life without Rosie means. Not the practical implications, those have been apparent since before she died. I’m talking about the things that nourish the heart and soul. Rosie will never leave my side. Never. But I am a social animal and am not good alone. So as time goes by I need to work out what I want from life. I met someone recently who had been divorced. She made a fairly obvious, yet thought-provoking statement. “None of us knows how life will play out”. Planning works to a point, but you never know what life has in store.

Rosie and I were the arch planners – we planned our holidays, our meals, our lives. I will never cease to plan for the children (when you have as many friends and admirers as they do it’s impossible not to). But for me I’m trying out a new approach; go with the flow. Life is for living and so I’m going to live it, to the fullest, if I possibly can. Let’s see how that goes!

Elliot

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